To Change or Not To Change?

To Change or Not To Change my name that is the question on my mind.

I am divorced with 2 kids.  If I did not have kids it would be a no brainer to change my last name back to my maiden name, without a doubt I would do it.  But having kids adds a kink in the works.  I understand the concept of keeping your married name so that you have the same as your kids.  But I divorced my ex for many reasons so why should I keep his name?  My ex pushed for me to do it almost demanded I that I did, however, that is something he can’t force me to do and so I didn’t right away because I didn’t want him to think that I did it for him.  And it is a hassle.  You’re all excited when you get married to change your name to your husbands that changing it on EVERYTHING doesn’t seem like that big of a hassle.  And besides when you’re in you’re 20’s you don’t have much anyway.  But now it seems like an even bigger hassle.

The other side of it is with so many Jennifers in the world especially my private and work lives I’ve been defined by my last name.  So I get why not to change it then everyone will need to find a new way to separate me from the rest of the Jennifers but that is not my problem to worry about.  But I do have a man in my life so I do understand from his perspective too why to change my name, my name is a reminder of my past failed marriage and I should move on.  Also the reminder of it by being defined by my last name I think gets to him too.  And if we get married someday I’ll change it to his name anyway so why go through so many name changes.  The DMV may begin to wonder if I have multiple personalities.

I get that I should do it or not do it for me and not worry about what everyone else thinks or feels about it but that is just how I am.  So I continue to mull over the pros and cons of it.


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